Friday, February 24, 2006

This Whole Port Thing Only Tells Me That Everybody is an Idiot

Seriously - who isn't an idiot in this whole UAE - ports management takeover controversy?

Please, disabuse me of my notions - tell me who is not being a complete and utter bumbecile:

- The Republicans? Fuggedaboudit! I heard our Boy-Governor Little Bobby going on and on and on about it with Ronaldo Smith and ex-felon Sgt. Eddie Norris (though, seriously, I do love Ron Smith. He would be a fun, fun lunch). Good Lawd, you'd think they'd sold Fort McHenry to the Canadians. Does it surprise anyone that Little Bobby is up for re-election in November? Run, Bobby, run! But don't be an idiot.

- The Democrats? Exhibit #1 - Baltimore's own rock star mayor, Martin O'Mayor. Even up to today, he was characterizing this as a foreign (Arab! Run away!!!) takeover of our ports. Huh? They are gonna load and unload big boxes of crap off of boats. In fact, the unloaders will continue to be ridiculously overpaid American union-carded stevedores. Go back to your little Irish Rock band, Mayor O'Martin. If you really wanna complain, argue about the $125 large that these boys make!

- The Press? Tell you the truth, I was almost an Idiot when I first saw The Bawlmer Sun's headline, sumptin about "UAE to Buy Port of Baltimore". Yikes! That did send a shiver through my skivvies! As late as today, the venerable had a headline spouting "UAE to Slow Bid to Purchase US Ports". I know earnings per share is important, folks, but did you have to fire all the fact checkers? At no point was anyone gonna buy any ports. All - chill.

- The President? "I will veto any attempt to stop this." "Don't cross me." "I swear to God I will." "Actually, I didn't know about this until I saw it on Meet the Press." "Still, I will veto you!" "Hey, Andy - how do we do a veto?" "Uhm, Karl, Stink Blossom, Sweetie...can you fix'in?"

- The Congress? Pick a side of the aisle, I will show you an Idiot. Republicans? I give you - Frist and Hastert. Democrats? Please stand up, Ms. Stained Blue Dress and fellow wackos. Why didn't you screech your fearful call when the Chinese took over the operation of most of our ports? Bitch-slap to you, m'lady!

- The War on Terror? "You are either with us or against us!" Hmm. Two of them helped to bring down the towers. Their government still contributes to terrorist organizations. They help to root out terrorists in their country. They contributed to the first Gulf War. Black or White? Good or Evil? Gray, perhaps? You decide.

- Mr. Chertoff? So, DHS was part of the decision-making process, but you (too!) didn't know about this until, what, Tim Russert? Too busy planning for the next hurricane season, I'll venture.

- Treasury Secretary Snow? Actually, he's no idiot here. He's the genius. He made sure this happened quietly, below the radar, faster than the law allows, in fact. A true man of business. He will be gone before the year is out, mark my words. Good man.

- The American Public? For years, Chinese, Taiwanese, British, Flemish, Japanese, and Danish (among others) have owned the companies that do what Dubai Port World has proposed to do. What's different? They are all not Arabic, not Islamic. We fear these people. We fear their skin. We fear their religion.

Don't lie to me. Don't tell me I'm wrong. When a Chinese dude sits next to you on an airplane, what do you think? Maybe he'll bore me with his doctoral thesis? When an Arabic-looking guy sits next to you, what do you think?

Don't lie to me. I think the same thing.

And it's silly. It's ridiculous. I, too, am an idiot.

As with China, what better chance do we have to move these folks to our world view than to include them in our world?

This is a good deal and a smart one. And anyone who disagrees is, clearly, a bumbecile.

Let's also learn from this that the world is not dichotomous. Nothing is as easy as Black or White, Good or Evil. This administration has tried to teach us (and nearly succeeded) that this is so. Of course, they were wrong.

And now they shall reap what they have sowed.


Blogger LargeBill said...

Hey Jack,

I'm not an idiot (at least not on the port thing). I posted a few days ago how silly the fake outrage was. I've been to the UAE a few times and the Emirates are not your stereotypical Arab country. Heck, they are one of only a couple Arabic countries where you can get a drink. Couple nice golf courses (with a good discount for U.S. military) there as well. The dumbest thing people against the deal keep bringing up is that two of the 19 on September 11th were from that country. Everyone involved in the Oklahoma City bombing was from the United States. Heck, just this week we had 3 terrorists caught here in Ohio.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Call Me Jack said...

Imagine if an outfit from Youngstown tried to run the ports! Yikes, the outrage!

I imagine traveling there was quite fascinating. Have never been anywhere in the Middle East but would love to at some point in the future.

And, no, you are NOT an idiot.

7:20 PM  

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