Sunday, February 26, 2006

Schaefer Deserves to Retire

I'm sure you've all read about Willie Don's funny little comment to the hottie aide.

I laughed too. I chalked it up to, well, there he goes again.

Of course, I'd read that her father (by the way, her name is Elizabeth Krum, and she is 24) was really pissed off: "It's all fun and games until it's your own daughter." His comments gave me pause, but, still, it's just Willie Don being his silly old self.

Then I learned this: William Donald Schaefer, the octagonerian who humiliated a talented young lady last week decided to also insult her father: "What he's trying to do is get his name in the press," Schaefer claimed.


Ok. Now I'm pissed. Willy? I don't care what the fuck you did for ole Bawlmer back in the 80s. The Inner Harbor is great. Thanks. We made you Governor for that. That's long since gone. We don't owe you a thought. If anything, you owe us your consideration for keeping you in the public realm, in spite of your idiotic pronouncements and actions.

I say now: Go The Fuck Home. You've deigned to insult the father of a young girl you've already insulted? Lord, how I miss the days of chivalry and duels. How simple it would be for him to pop your tired, stupid little head. Too bad we can't see that sight.

A fellow by the name of Peter Franchot is running against you for Comptroller this year. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the guy. Way too left-wacky for me. But you know what? I'll take wacky over "I'm Owed This Office Crazy" anyday.

Tomorrow, I'm sending a $100 check to Mr Franchot. And I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that Mr. Schaefer is sent off on his overdue, good, long, retirement.

Are you pissed off by this, Mr. Schaefer? You have turned into a horrible little man. Thank you for all that you have done. It was all good stuff, years and years ago. But, now, go home. Take a nap. Best of all, leave us alone.


The Citizens of Maryland

Friday, February 24, 2006

This Whole Port Thing Only Tells Me That Everybody is an Idiot

Seriously - who isn't an idiot in this whole UAE - ports management takeover controversy?

Please, disabuse me of my notions - tell me who is not being a complete and utter bumbecile:

- The Republicans? Fuggedaboudit! I heard our Boy-Governor Little Bobby going on and on and on about it with Ronaldo Smith and ex-felon Sgt. Eddie Norris (though, seriously, I do love Ron Smith. He would be a fun, fun lunch). Good Lawd, you'd think they'd sold Fort McHenry to the Canadians. Does it surprise anyone that Little Bobby is up for re-election in November? Run, Bobby, run! But don't be an idiot.

- The Democrats? Exhibit #1 - Baltimore's own rock star mayor, Martin O'Mayor. Even up to today, he was characterizing this as a foreign (Arab! Run away!!!) takeover of our ports. Huh? They are gonna load and unload big boxes of crap off of boats. In fact, the unloaders will continue to be ridiculously overpaid American union-carded stevedores. Go back to your little Irish Rock band, Mayor O'Martin. If you really wanna complain, argue about the $125 large that these boys make!

- The Press? Tell you the truth, I was almost an Idiot when I first saw The Bawlmer Sun's headline, sumptin about "UAE to Buy Port of Baltimore". Yikes! That did send a shiver through my skivvies! As late as today, the venerable had a headline spouting "UAE to Slow Bid to Purchase US Ports". I know earnings per share is important, folks, but did you have to fire all the fact checkers? At no point was anyone gonna buy any ports. All - chill.

- The President? "I will veto any attempt to stop this." "Don't cross me." "I swear to God I will." "Actually, I didn't know about this until I saw it on Meet the Press." "Still, I will veto you!" "Hey, Andy - how do we do a veto?" "Uhm, Karl, Stink Blossom, Sweetie...can you fix'in?"

- The Congress? Pick a side of the aisle, I will show you an Idiot. Republicans? I give you - Frist and Hastert. Democrats? Please stand up, Ms. Stained Blue Dress and fellow wackos. Why didn't you screech your fearful call when the Chinese took over the operation of most of our ports? Bitch-slap to you, m'lady!

- The War on Terror? "You are either with us or against us!" Hmm. Two of them helped to bring down the towers. Their government still contributes to terrorist organizations. They help to root out terrorists in their country. They contributed to the first Gulf War. Black or White? Good or Evil? Gray, perhaps? You decide.

- Mr. Chertoff? So, DHS was part of the decision-making process, but you (too!) didn't know about this until, what, Tim Russert? Too busy planning for the next hurricane season, I'll venture.

- Treasury Secretary Snow? Actually, he's no idiot here. He's the genius. He made sure this happened quietly, below the radar, faster than the law allows, in fact. A true man of business. He will be gone before the year is out, mark my words. Good man.

- The American Public? For years, Chinese, Taiwanese, British, Flemish, Japanese, and Danish (among others) have owned the companies that do what Dubai Port World has proposed to do. What's different? They are all not Arabic, not Islamic. We fear these people. We fear their skin. We fear their religion.

Don't lie to me. Don't tell me I'm wrong. When a Chinese dude sits next to you on an airplane, what do you think? Maybe he'll bore me with his doctoral thesis? When an Arabic-looking guy sits next to you, what do you think?

Don't lie to me. I think the same thing.

And it's silly. It's ridiculous. I, too, am an idiot.

As with China, what better chance do we have to move these folks to our world view than to include them in our world?

This is a good deal and a smart one. And anyone who disagrees is, clearly, a bumbecile.

Let's also learn from this that the world is not dichotomous. Nothing is as easy as Black or White, Good or Evil. This administration has tried to teach us (and nearly succeeded) that this is so. Of course, they were wrong.

And now they shall reap what they have sowed.

Who Does Soriano Think He Is?

I don't get this. The Washington Nat's (my favorite NL team, BTW) want Alfonso Soriano to move from 2nd base to the outfield. After all, you can't move Jose Vidro, the guy who belongs there.

So what does Soriano do? He refuses. REFUSES! Won't move! Won't play! Is gonna stay at 2nd!


I can see the first game - Alfonso and Jose playing three feet apart from each other in the infield, fighting for every ball grounded to second, wrestling in the dirt, trying to pry the ball away, to be the one to make the throw to first.

Actually, that would be pretty entertaining.

Let me tell you this - Ted Williams would never have allowed that to happen, head or no head.

Friday, February 17, 2006

The Girls Do Snowboard Cross!

Next time, let's say they do it topless, eh?

Is This Where Schaefer Jumps the Shark?


Willy Don has gotten away with so much over the years. Maybe that's what 40 years of really good and fun public service will getcha.

But, maybe, this is the last sweet little ass he's stared down?

Perhaps this is the best argument I've yet heard: If she was your daughter, how would you feel?
Go home and have a scotch or three, Willy Don. You've done enough good around here.

Did You Check Out Snowboard Cross Last Night?

Damn, but that looks like fun.

I need to brush up on my boarding.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The First Day of Spring...

...Training, that is. Believe it or not, pitchers and catchers report today at Chain of Lakes Park down in sunny Winter Haven, even as these mounds snow continue to melt around me.

Here's what I'll be watching for as the 2006 edition of the Tribe takes shape:

1. How will the rotation hold up? Last year's 5-man crew each started at least 30 games. That is remarkable, and surely won't be repeated. Can Shapiro's latest reclamation projections hope to match last year's? How will the youngsters perform when they are undoubtedly called upon to fill some holes?

2. How much production can we expect from Left Field? Coco was not spectacular, but he was solid. Jason Michaels has never played full time. How will he do? From an offensive perspective, you can't waste this position

3. How will the bullpen hold up? The 2005 Indians had perhaps the most underrated bullpen in the league. Old Man Wickman pitched out of his ass. He's now 37. Can he do it again? And how will the pen perform in getting to Wicky in the first place, with Howry off to the Cubs? Again, can Shapiro's success at reclamation projects be repeated here?

4. Can Wedge get this team out of the gate quicker? Just think - if the Tribe had played .500 ball in April of last year, we would still be basking in the glow of a playoff appearance. They've stumbled badly the last 2 Aprils. What will Wedgie do to get the offensive production ramped up more quickly this year?

These guys won 93 games last year. My prediction for 2006: 88 wins, second in the AL Central, and at least 5 games out of the wild card.

Sorry, but the pitching just won't be strong enough.

24 is Getting a Little Bit Out There

I still think it's one of the best shows on television, but, seriously - how does Jack manage to cover so much ground in one hour?

This really cool new site actually maps his movements, nearly to the minute. Check it out if you want to waste some time.

And where does he get all those helicopters?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A Modern-Day Fiefdom

Some interesting facts about Kenedy County, TX (semi-ironic name, no?). Apparently, it's maintained by the government as a playground for the well-heeled and well-connected.

Nice, to see tax dollars put to such use.

Also makes it understandable why no one pushed Cheney for a breathalyzer test (just to keep the record clear that there was no drinking involved, since, you know, Dick has been know to kinda like his sauce, and questions might get asked, so it would be a good idea to have some proof otherwise) when it mattered, as in, immediately after the hunting accident.

Has any asked this, yet: If you or I accidentally shot a man, then didn't report it to the local authorities until, oh, the next morning, would we be in some type of hot water?

Jus' wonderin.....

My Favorite Line So Far

From Letterman:

"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

Making a Mountain Out of a Quail Covey?

Not much to add to this debate, aside from my incredulousness at the blame that many are attempting to pin on the media for "blowing this out of proportion."

First of all, I'm not really sure that this has been blown out of proportion. Let's not forget - the Vice President, however accidentally, SHOT A MAN.

Can you imagine the howling that would have come from the Limbaughs and Hannitys and O'Reillys if Al Gore had done such a thing? Or what if Kerry had shot some guy during that infamous hunting photo op in Ohio during last year's campaign? Can't you hear the lambasting?

So, no, this is no tempest in a teapot.

And, if anyone is to blame for the general reaction, it is Dark Lord Cheney himself. Hell, even his old friends argue that he "made it a much bigger issue than it needed to be."

When will folks in the public eye ever realize that straighforward, prompt explanations and expressions of regret can work wonders with the American public? We are a profoundly generous society, willing to give the benefit of the doubt and another chance.

But here's the rub of it all - I doubt that Cheney even cares what the American public thinks. Old Reagan hand Marlin Fitzwater (man, I loved his performance in Finding Nemo) says that the Veep "ignored his responsibility to the American people."

That's why this has struck such a chord with so many - because it encapsulates Cheney's (and this administration's) overarching view of their leadership: WE know best. WE will determine what you should and shouldn't know. WE will tell you what you need to hear - WHEN we think you should hear it.

It borders on criminal arrogance.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Winter Strikes Back

Yes - my daffodils were peeping 4 inches high a few days ago. The phlox had some blooms. The cherry in the back was peppered with pink flowers.

Not today. Today, nearly 18 inches of snow showered over it, and covered it all with a soft white blanket, and our family of cardinals sought refuge in our feeder. Thankfully, I filled all of our feeders yesterday, and the birds (dozens and dozens, of all species) have found us today. Bless them.

The hills behind us are a rolling wonderland, the sledding promising screams and shouts and laughter for later today and tomorrow.

I spent about 2 hours shoveling this morning, after it stopped falling, at around ten (our church was closed, the highways were closed, everything was closed). Thankfully, a neighbor with a snowblower came and helped, and I was able to focus on the end of the driveway: the plows had yet to visit us, so I figured, if I could clear the street, my driveway was in no danger of being plowed in. Damn, but my shoulders ached.

My iPod blared. My legs burned. It was time to come in.

We made hot cocoa from scratch, topped it with a tipple of Bailey's, sparked up the fireplace, turned on our favorite get-ready-for-spring film (Field of Dreams - pitchers and catchers report this week!), and relaxed, rested, and napped for a moment or too.

By afternoon, a gorgeous stew was in the pot - spice-dusted chunks of round, stewed tomatoes, spices, a ton and a half of onions, half a bottle of cab (big, fat, scary cab), a quarter cup of hoisin sauce (ah - there's the secret - ask me for the full recipe!). Mmm. The place smelled great.

It needed to bubble for at least two more hours. So we had time to go sledding.

The is this hill a short hike from our home, a great hill, a trail in the warmer months, next to a ridge full of wildflower and clover, a ridge that is an empty canvas in winter. You can take a sled from just behind our house, down this trail, jump the trail over this ridge, and coast through what will be a blooming meadow in the spring.

We did this for two hours. We were surrounded by all the neighborhood kids, who shared their (better) sleds with us, and laughed and jumped and pushed us along.

After a while, wore out, tired, I lay back in the snow. The cold seeped through my ski pants, my red fleece coat. The sun was dipping low in the sky. The fading rays grazed across the field of snow, the windswept ridges glowed orange and yellow and red and purple, the wind swept wildly over the our sled tracks. I looked up into the deep deep blue, and I fell in love again with the world.

The stew was ready on the stove. I prepared my grandma's old Slovenian reciped for spaetzle (after a call to her for advice, of course. Are you all OK, she asked? Dick Goddard says you're getting a lot of snow?) We opened up another bottle of cab (or was it a syrah?), cranked up the fire, and found the right mix on iTunes.

Outside, a new mix of cardinals and jays and sparrows and mourning doves shouted and clattered and argued and then found that their dinner was waiting.

Cheney Shoots an Old White Dude! They're Not Endangered, Are They?


It reminds me of the old saw: Guns don't kill people - Vice Presidents do.

After said Vice Presidents are done outing, conferring, pressuring, and eavesdropping, I'll guess.

Too bad that old Dick didn't make those pellets self-inflict.

Ahhh...the Powers of a Dark Lord.

One Sign That You Really Got Hammered by That Snowstorm

Well, for one, the Sun didn't arrive until 5 pm.

Damn. It usually takes me till Weds to read that thing. Now it won't be until Friday!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

How the DHS is Running the INS

So, how is the Dept of Homeland Security doing in running the Immigration and Naturalization Service.

Hmm, well, about as effectively as it runs FEMA.

(Bush had it right when he opposed creating this massive beauracratic boondoggle in the first place. Too bad that he ineffectually and unfortunately bowed down to his political masters.)

Immigration policy is clearly a linchpin to our national security.

And yet, we learn that:
In December Congress speedily passed special immigration legislation to benefit just one person: an ice dancer. As a Canadian, she couldn't join the 2006 U.S. Olympics team. But a law was written that lasted exactly two days, long enough for her to be fast-tracked for citizenship and sent to compete for the United States.

Hmm, well. We would like to win 30-odd medals over the next fortnight in Turin, no?

Of course, there's also the fact that:
...the U.S. immigration system had denied entry to Teresa, a 14-year-old African girl who has been stranded as a refugee in Guinea almost all her life. She is trying to join her adoptive mother, Momara, a refugee from Sierra Leone who was granted asylum in the United States. But in this girl's case, there is no fast track, only the rigid application of a procedural rule.

Can she skate? Run really fast?

No? Too bad.

What an embarassment.

Checking in on the State of Conservatism

They held their annual Conservative Political Action Conference this week.

So let's see what the party of limited governmental power is up to, shall we.

"The conservative movement has a healthy skepticism of governmental power, but at times, unfortunately, that healthy skepticism needs to yield." - Viet Dinh, coauthor of the Patriot Act.


Bob Barr, impeachnik of the nineties, rightly argued "Do we truly remain a society that believes that . . . every president must abide by the law of this country? I, as a conservative, say yes. I hope you as conservatives say yes...Are we in danger of putting allegiance to party ahead of allegiance to principle?"

Of course, he was booed loudly and then bitch-slapped by Dark Lord Cheney. One guy in the hall complained, "I can't believe I'm in a conservative hall listening to him say [Bush] is off course trying to defend the United States."

That's the problem, buddy. We have become so enamored of the power we hold that we are willing to sacrifice our principals.

That happens when movements are approaching their end.

I think I'm on the verge becoming a Bobby Barr fan.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Team USA Enters the Arena

God love the stories - Bode, and the Flying Tomato, and, my fave, Kimmie.

(Here's my over/under on how many Olympic chicks Bode will nail: 13. Leave your bets in the comments section. Seriously.)

Let's go, troops!

On the Cavs

You can't do better than Terry Pluto's latest comments.

But you can't help but ask - what could Mike Fratello do with this team?

This Music Rocks!

But, seriously, why are the Romanians entering to 1980s American disco music?


Today Was Bonus Day

We handed out the checks today. We were handed the checks today. It was a big, big year.

We repaired to the local Irish pub for a few celebratory pints, for 2005 was a great year.

2006? Appearing to be, well, not so much.

I came home, we went out for a nice, nice dinner, and are now sipping on a saved bottle of wine, a 92 French Cab that my dad gave to me when I graduated, back in the day.

It's wonderful. I will sip one more glass, then repair upstairs, for a good sleep.

I have a big day of hiking ahead of me, though we'll see what the snow will bring.

We have been blessed, and we will make sure that we share these blessings.


They have a very hot 17 year old flag bearer.

Does she ski?

Live Blogging on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies

My simple minded comments:

- Has Jim Lampley turned into a member of the Gotti family? I am a HUGE fan of pinstripes - but SHEESH!
- Re: Bob Costas and Brian Williams standing next to each other - Is Bob 5 feet tall? Is Brian 7 feet tall? Hmmmm....
- By law, must the designers of the opening cerermony be on heroin? Cocaine? Opium? Truly - Lewis Carroll would have loved this shit.
- Truly, is this what de Coubertin was thinking of?

Naked Fish Now on Tap at DuClaw

So I was out with my boys last night, sampling the latest seasonal offering from the local neighborhood brewpub.

Last night was the release party for Naked Fish, a perfect winter brew. It's a rich, chocolatey stout, pleasantly roasty and toasty. The surprise, though is in the finish: a hint of sweetness and a gentle reminder of raspberries. Ever so subtle.

If you're local, go try a pint or three.

About Those Olympic Ideals

Speaking of the true spirit of the Games, I really enjoyed this profile of US snowboarder Shaun White.

Money quote: "I'm gonna get some babes."

It's great to see a 19-year old with his priorities in order.

Surprise! Mike Brown Blames Others!

I really do wish they would put this guy in front of a Senate committee at least once every couple of weeks.

He is THAT entertaining.

Prepare for the White Death!

Yikes! Two to four inches in the forecast for Baltimore!

Guaranteed to generate hyperactive news reports, overblown winter storm warnings, and a run on toilet paper at the local Giant!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I HATE the iPod Era

You know that post, just down there? Disregard it. Ignore it. Delete it. Flush it into the ether. We (I?) aren't yet ready for the digital age.

Why? you ask.

You know that extra hard drive I bought, to keep all my music on? (Scroll down and read about it, AJ Hawk-loving newbies!) It arrived today. I saw that package when I came home from work and danced and sang like a schoolgirl.

I popped open the PC cabinet, found the right place to slide in that disk drive - it was tight, but if you know how to work it, it fits. (I know, it sounds dirty, but it's not - at least not yet). I plugged in the right plugs, pushed in the right wires, slapped the cover back on and was good to go! Bring on my many megabytes of Bono and Beck and Buffett. No?


I pushed the ON button. And the screen churned and churned and churned. My stomach jumped into my lungs. Then, the fateful message: "No operating system detected."

FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!

That was three hours ago.

Since then, I've tried to remove the new drive and return to the simpler, lovely days of old, the days of a single hard drive (no dice - still, no operating system. Huh? Where the fuck did it go? It was just here! I didn't delete it! Who did, you bastard?)

I've tried to reinstall the Seagate "new disk install" software. No dice. It nicely recognizes both the old and new drives (thanks for nothing, bucko!). Then, it falls down again on its "no operating system" sword. Eat me, Seagate! Eat me eat me eat me eat me!

I'm sorry, but now I'm pissed.

So, here I am, beaten, disheveled, a little dusty, a little sweaty, and diving into a sixer of Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale (and a finer brown ale ye shall not find!). (I bet you were waiting for a beer reference. You were. Don't lie to me.)

And you know what I'm gonna have to do in the morning? Call up that freaking Geek Squad at Best Buy and have them send over one of their pimply faced geniuses to rescue my stupid ass from itself.

Any other brilliant ideas? Hey - if any of you live near Forest Hill, MD (truly, it IS the Land of Pleasant Living!) and know how to fix this bastard, hit me back.

Here's the deal - I'll buy you a sixer of Dogfish. Your choice. Hell, I'll even drink one (or three) with ya!

Just - please - anyone! - help me! Help ! Heeellllllllllllllllpp.................

Learning to Love the iPod Era

I am now a citizen of the digital music world. I've got my iPod. I've ripped all my CDs onto my hard drive - in fact, I bought a new hard drive dedicated SOLELY to storing all my music!

And, last weekend, I finally started perusing around the iTunes music store. Well, two hours and thirty bucks later, I am as hooked as a crack whore.

A few revelations ocurred to me as I downloaded Dar William's top 10 playlist::

- I doubt that I will ever again buy a CD. What's the point? Even the best CDs have no more that 5 or 6 tracks worth owning. Take Beck, for example. I love Beck. I have religiously purchased every new CD, the week it comes out ($15.99, anyone?) But even on as great an album as Guero, there are two or three or four tracks that I tend to skip right past. Hey, Beck - next album? I'll download half of it for five bucks and call it a day.

- This is absolutely the way to manage music. Why bother ripped from a CD onto my PC? Eliminate the middle man.

- The record company (or any company, for that matter, as I doubt a record company will ever make the intellectual leap) that figures out how to truly harness this method of distribution is going to make a killing - and earn many, many customers for life.

An article in today's WaPo speaks to all of this. Bottom line: in spite of the huge numbers of singles being sold online, the industry is still struggling to grow the dollars.

Money quote: "Record companies would tell me, 'We're not going to put a single out, because it's really the only great song on the album,' " says Billboard's Mayfield.

Well, then maybe that's the problem you need to fix, buddy boy.

Or the fact that CDs are overpriced themselves, eh?

Damn, but I love how the free market works.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My Neighbor is Skating in the Olympics

Yeah, yeah...I know. The Olympics has become this huge, oversized, commercialized parody of what it once was. Cities are raped, go into crazy debt, and, as Kip notes, fail to learn that to host the Olympics is not necessarily a good thing. (Take note, Mr. O'Malley.)

But, above all that, making all of the economic and political agruments irrelevant, there is this: my neighbor will skate in the Olympics.

She is today only 16 years old, and, ever since I've known her, I've know that she ice skates. I've known that she would drive up to the University of Delaware nearly every day to practice (from the 'burbs north of Baltimore). I've known that she was a good student, a good kid, popular, with lots of friends, plays outside, is an athlete, is the kind of kid you want to populate your neighborhood.

But I never realized that she was THAT good. Until we watched her in the US championships a few weeks ago. Maybe she was a dark horse, I never really thought about it. She was always just that kid down the street who was a really good skater, not to mention a sophomore at Fallston High (yeah, Cougars!).

But she was that good. She ended up finishing second to Sasha Cohen (Michelle Kwan got the cheap bid.)

And she will fly to Turin tomorrow, along with her brother and parents. And she does represent the ideal of the Olympic spirit. In spite of the craziness that has now come to surround the game, there is still a purity to it that remains true to its ideals.

Kimmie Meissner has been skating since she was 6, and she has spent the last several years training up in Delaware, and she signed autographs last week at our local pizza joint to help raise money for her family to travel to watch her skate in Italy, and she is my neighbor, and in spite of all the commercialization and the crazy dollars and the tasteless, crassless, materialism that has surrounded The Games, the ideal remains.

So let us park our cynicism for the next few weeks or so. Let us revel in the Games' athletes, in the work they have done, and in the ideals they embody.

Go, Kimmie. Do us, and yourself, and these ideals, proud.

Now THIS Is Synergy!

What do you get when you cross a Star Wars nerd with someone who appreciates good, ironic Islamist satire?

Today's Waste of Eighty Two Seconds

Ever wonder where they came up with those wonderfully lyrical spam names?

Know you know.

FYI - my alias is:

Bloodline L. Ileum

More Google Bashing

Did you know that Google routinely filters its (your?) search results, apparently in order to comply with the US Digital Millenium Copyrights Act?


Via Boing Boing, try to search on Google for:

olly hits snake

Scroll down all the way to the bottom of the page, where you'll read the text "In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 2 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at"

At least Google is telling us when they are censoring. As far as I know, AOL, Yahoo, are much less transparent.

Apparently, it all stemmed from The Church of Scientology trying to force Google to filter out websites critical of the Church whenever someone searched on, say, crazy scientology wacko nutjobs.


The Hot Stove Heats Up

With that ugly Super Bowl gratefully in the rear view mirror, the baseball hot stove is getting warmer.

Believe it or not, pitchers and catchers will report to Spring Training even before Bode Miller has a chance to get a good buzz on.

As usual, Terry Pluto has the best overview I've yet seen. Scroll down for some great analysis on where the Indians sit as they prepare to head down to Winter Haven.

Friday, February 03, 2006

"We Are Addicted to Oil"


So Dubya, Tuesday, SOTU (you catch it?), stated that we (i.e. HE) would reduce our intake of "Middle East oil" by some big ol' number by, what 2010? I don't know - I wasn't taking notes. And the TiVo was on South Park.

Anyway, interesting.

He stated (stronger than implied) that certain alternative energy measures (switch grass, anyone?) would make up for our current dependence upon oil from the MidEast. (And I don't mean Harrisburg, PA.)

But does he realize that most of our oil imports come from Canada?

And does he know that Canada'a oil is more expensive than the oil from anywhere else? And that the cheapest oil is from the Middle East?

So, if we are to reduce the amount of imported oil, based upon cost per gallon, the cuts will come from the Evil Canadians. From a market perspective, the Middle East would be the last to go.
No? Am I wrong here?

Either Dubya has wasted many years (of losing his Daddy's money) in the oil industry and at Harvard Business School (also losing his Daddy's money) and failed to understand the basics of that industry, or, sadly, he knows that what he is claiming isn't true, but he says it, nonetheless, because it tested well in a focus group.

Look - I am all for reducing our dependence on horrible nations that just so happen to sit on a mounds of decomposing dinosaur bones. But if we are gonna get away from suckling upon the teats of said dead dino bones, well, then lets not lie about it, eh?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Today's Gratuitous Swipe at Teddy Kennedy

"Goddamn, but I wish that kind of man-titty hair would sprout on my head.

And, while you're there, crack me a Silver Bullet, too, wouldja?"

Punxsutawny Phil is a Big Phat Phurry Lying Phucking Bastard!

Six more weeks of winter? What the phuk have you been eating, you phat phuk? Hell no, to winter, and to you, I say! Hell no!
Spring training starts in two weeks, you imbecilic rodent! Wake the phuk up!

And you tell your philthy, stove-top-pipe-hatted phriend to GET A PHREAKING LIFE. And STOP chugging Yuenglings at 6am every PHUCKING Phebruary 2.

Alito Makes His Mark

Hmmm. Hours after being sworn in, new SCOTUS Justice Alito split with his conservative colleagues and upheld a Missouri stay of execution.

Are those Ms O'Connor's bloomers I see peeking out from under your robe, Samuel?

How is Jerome Bettis Just Like Saddam Hussein?

I bet you were waiting for some Steeler's joke punchline, right?

Nope. A true fact (as opposed to most everything else you'll read here):

Jerome Bettis, Detroit native, was given the key to the city yesterday. The last guy they gave a key to?

None other than the Butcher of Baghdad.

Kinda makes me wanna root for the Seahawks.

The Maturation of LeBron

Even from afar, LeBron James grows more impressive each week. As Bill Livingston writes in today's Pee Dee, what I find most impressive is his ability to see the game several steps ahead of everyone else.

As LeBron said, "I know Jason Kidd's game. If he saw me running at him, he was going to slow down and try to get fouled."

Put all the physical and skill attributes and superlatives aside - this kids simply thinks the game better than anyone else.

I Loves Me Some Super Bowl Advertisements

The only thing better than the ads we'll see on Sunday are...the ads we won't see.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The President Opposes Man-on-Dog Love!

Aside from the whole "switch grass" comment, I'd have to say the most bizarre part of last night's SOTU address was the condemnation of man-animal DNA mixing, or some such.

I didn't realize that this was such an issue.

Then again, what would you expect from an administration that is pretty much scientifically illiterate?

Calling Dr. Moreau!

The Return of the Thirty Year Bond!

No, it's not a bad horror sequel. Just another quiet admission of failure for this administration's profligate fiscal policy.

How I long for the good old days of divided government!

Great Insight on the Coco Crisp Trade

Jim Banks at has probably the best analysis I've yet read on the recent trades of Coco Crisp and the rest. If you're a baseball fan, read it. It makes me a little more optimistic.

Money quote:
The Indians are not the Red Sox or the Yankees, and they can't play the
game the same way. If you want to root for a team that can keep everyone and buy
everything else, then I'm sure the Red Sox or Yankees would love to have
you. But that's no fun. That's easy. What's fun is watching the Indians
outsmart those guys, and when they win the World Series, you'll know that
they'll have earned it by having made better trades, developing better players
and spending their money more wisely. In the end, it'll all be worth it. But to
get there, you've got to do what Shapiro just did.

The best GM in baseball, you ask me.
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