Thursday, January 26, 2006

I Am Easily Amazed

The General Public (henceforth, the GP) continually amazes me. I am again on the road today, this time a one-dayer to Cincinnati and back. Hauling down I-95 again this morning (7 am this time – I got to sleep in! Yay!), a woman to the right of me rolls her window partway down to throw out a napkin.

Huh?

What kind of moron just throws their crap out the window, to blow around among the flotsam and jetsam of the highway? I hope this woman has no children, as she is clearly unfit to be a mother. I glared at her as I passed. I’m sure she had no idea why. To her, I was just some jerk in a silver Volvo.

Then there was the woman next to me in line at the tunnel, obliviously puffing away on her cancer sticks, windows rolled up tight. I’m sure that the three (three!) tikes strapped into car seats in the back were enjoying their daily commute of carbon monoxide, atomized tar, and sundry other carcinogens. Who wants to bet that they show up at preschool every morning smelling like they just stumbled out of a bar? Or that they’ll all be unrepentant puffers before they can legally drive?

And how about the clown in front of me going through security at BWI? (Note: two days in the security line – two clowns about whom to blog! Truly – traveling provides one with countless fun bogging opportunities!) Here we are, 2006, nearly five (FIVE!) years after 9/11 and all the air travel changes that wrought. And yet, this clown waits until it is his turn to walk through the detector before he decides to check and empty his pockets (pants, shirt, coat) of any and all things metallic.

Buddy – we’ve been standing in this line for 10 minutes, staring at a dozen signs telling us (via cute little cartoon images, so don’t use your illiteracy as an excuse, you dolt) what to do to MAKE THIS LINE MOVE FASTER.) And you wait until now?

You are a clown. And your penance shall be to go forth and FLY NO MORE!

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